READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
