haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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