Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
