grandma shit on top of the toilet
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize