real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
