As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
