STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Where did you get a picture of my penis
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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