Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
