Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
