She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
