Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
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I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
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I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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