but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dating After Heartbreak
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.