The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..