Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."

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  (303): maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..." http://tfl.nu/5h2o
  Replies (81) Good night (951) Bad night (6543)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

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  (513): He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/uxq8
  Replies (4) Good night (3315) Bad night (860)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.

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  (907): Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong. http://tfl.nu/skna
  Replies (8) Good night (2793) Bad night (831)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying

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  (717): best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying http://tfl.nu/r0td
  Replies (15) Good night (686) Bad night (2130)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  He's yummy.

  (613): View more from Ontario

  HE'S GAY. AND 40.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Irrelevant.

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  (802): He's yummy. (613): HE'S GAY. AND 40. (802): Irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/3zsj
  Replies (9) Good night (2153) Bad night (953)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.

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  (708): Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover. http://tfl.nu/rh7v
  Replies (2) Good night (1332) Bad night (1302)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave

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  (608): not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave http://tfl.nu/ay74
  Replies (5) Good night (1821) Bad night (750)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.

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  (423): I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ. http://tfl.nu/ko9e
  Replies (11) Good night (1436) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.

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  (850): My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer. http://tfl.nu/izky
  Replies (10) Good night (600) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.

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  (919): I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink. http://tfl.nu/51us
  Replies (9) Good night (660) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm a sociology major remember

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well that and comm

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Basically you majored in how to get laid

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  (301): I'm a sociology major remember (301): Well that and comm (479): Basically you majored in how to get laid http://tfl.nu/9p1r
  Replies (2) Good night (1301) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it

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  (631): She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it http://tfl.nu/e6sn
  Replies (11) Good night (424) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face

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  (860): You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face http://tfl.nu/wwpz
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.

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  (815): We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni. http://tfl.nu/pqm5
  Replies (5) Good night (1354) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful

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  (773): He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful http://tfl.nu/kcp3
  Replies (0) Good night (356) Bad night (269)

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