i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize