Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck