i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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