drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.