Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.