I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
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There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
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Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.