Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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  (703): He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet. http://tfl.nu/muj7
  Replies (28) Good night (796) Bad night (6256)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....

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  (201): Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me".... http://tfl.nu/dlub
  Replies (22) Good night (6678) Bad night (1043)
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  (209): View more from California

  I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.

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  (209): I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/e78z
  Replies (25) Good night (7856) Bad night (1160)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.

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  (518): i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that. http://tfl.nu/4wam
  Replies (1) Good night (1017) Bad night (2654)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.

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  (401): I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type. http://tfl.nu/97ap
  Replies (4) Good night (2533) Bad night (1043)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Considering how often you blow him,high.

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  (260): He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds? (1-260): Considering how often you blow him,high. http://tfl.nu/epf2
  Replies (4) Good night (5128) Bad night (1505)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.

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  (715): Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure. http://tfl.nu/2y1s
  Replies (5) Good night (2232) Bad night (621)
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  (949): View more from California

  Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.

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  (949): Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me. http://tfl.nu/lccl
  Replies (3) Good night (2489) Bad night (738)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face

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  (775): By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face http://tfl.nu/uzn2
  Replies (4) Good night (811) Bad night (397)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.

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  (901): The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand. http://tfl.nu/pvju
  Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (379)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.

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  (704): You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now. http://tfl.nu/1b3b
  Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (364)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.

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  (804): hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too. http://tfl.nu/g160
  Replies (4) Good night (1388) Bad night (431)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol

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  (306): so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol http://tfl.nu/scq5
  Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (403)
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  (408): View more from California

  She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.

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  (408): She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up. http://tfl.nu/zn3k
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (673)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am

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  (312): My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am http://tfl.nu/0nuu
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (132)

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