evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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