i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
