if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
