hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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