And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Blood and glitter go together right?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I deserve this hangover.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
