it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
