Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My vagina is officially offended.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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