yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
