Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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