party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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