everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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