Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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