Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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