so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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