would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
