I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
