I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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