Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
