How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
