haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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