That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
