Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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