I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
