he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
