You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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