We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
