apparently the secret to your success is patron
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
