come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
