just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Alive.
So much puke
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
