I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
