Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
