he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
