I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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