Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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