I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
