My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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