I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
