last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
