apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
