of course. lets lasso hookers.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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