I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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