maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
