I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
