Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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