he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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