A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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