Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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