no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
