it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
