and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
