Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My vagina just recognized that song.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
