I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
