All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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