I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
