I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
