Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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